Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Nice catch, Prettyboy! 

Thanks Craig Biggio!

Apparently, after watching Alou and Korey (only 1 K now, instead of 3), The Beege thought he'd make a stellar defensive play of his own.

The Cubs may have been lucky to win this game, but they'll take it. The Astros improve to 1-3 with Carlos Beltran. Hey Astros, maybe you can flip Beltran for some bullpen prospects!

With the win, and another Cardinals loss (to the vaunted Battlin' Buccos), the lead is now down to 3.5 games.

Todd Hollandsworth may or may not go on the DL. He's on crutches for Christ's sake. Just put him on there and hopefully he'll be back next Friday.

Of course, Hollandsworth's absence kinda puts a dent in the 'ol "best bench ever in the history of the sport." (Right, Chip?).

The Cubs pinch hitting this year:

28-103 (.272), .306 OBP, 4 HR, 14 RBI, 6 BB

Todd Hollandsworth pinch hitting this year:

9-16 (.583), .611 OBP, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 2 BB

So, the rest of the pinch hitters:

19-87 (.218), 2 HR (Barrett PH Grand Slam and Gonzo) 10 RBI, 4 BB

But when your "bench" on a good day is Walker (2-8 pinch-hitting, 4 K) or Grudz, Ramon (2-8, 4 K's) or Rey (0-1), Macias (5-22, 2 RBI, 1 walk in 10 months), Goodwin (4-18, 1 RBI, but nice one yesterday) and Bako (0-2), it's not exactly one that should strike fear in the hearts of opposing managers. And whatever generic rookie they bring up (Dubois, Kelton, etc.) isn't going to make a difference because they're never going to play. So really, it's Hollandsworth that has been otherworldly off the bench, and the others have been much less-than-worldly. The conclusion, is of course, Chip is an idiot.

Friday, June 25, 2004


Ok, for the three of you that check this site hoping I've written something recent, let's recap the last week and a half of Cubs games:


There you go.

We can blame the last two losses on the following things:

Bad Bullpen
Paul Bako
Sammy's baserunning
Wavin Wendell
Rey Ordonez

It's obvious the Cubs need another arm in the pen. If it's trading for a bonafide closer to push Hawkins back to the 8th and The Farns, et al back to the 7th, something obviously needs to be done.

Paul Bako, what more can be said about this waste of space loser? Desipio is having a field day, that's for sure. He can't hit. He can't catch. Anytime there's a play at home he runs 10 feet in front of the plate so he can avoid contact. It really doesn't matter where he stands, cause he sure ain't catching a throw from one of our noodle armed outfielders.

Sammy ran the bases yesterday like a damn little leaguer. He fell for Edmonds' deke on a ball that was 50 feet over his head and was then frozen on a looping liner that cleared the 5 foot Hector Luna by 6 feet.

Wavin Wendell saw fit to wave Sammy home on the Edmonds play and thankfully was only out by 30 feet instead of the requisite 50. I know Wendell is only 4 foot 6 and can't see over the fielders, but when you lead the majors in runners thrown out at the plate in one year (2003) and are blowing away the competition in that same category the next (2004), it's the coach, stupid! Wendell is an idiot! Get rid of him!

Speaking of short guys that suck, Rey Ordonez is certainly one. He sucks and sucks hard. He's 3-36. He needs to go. Unfortunately, the solution is not Ramon Martinez. Or Ricky Gutierrez. Or anyone else whose last name ends in "z" (unless it's Alex Rodriguez). Alex Gonzalez looks like a damn All-star compared to those options. Trade for someone. Please?

Oh, the Astros made a trade for some guy named Carlos Beltran. I don't watch much Royals baseball. Is he any good?

There's a big series with the White Sox this weekend. Try and tune in.

Monday, June 14, 2004

2 of 3 

Did anyone else think once Capt. Tightpants blew the game in the 8th, the Cubs were destined to lose? And then again with Hawkins in the 11th? I know I sure did. But this was a big win.

Jon Leicester (the man with the silent "ice" in his name) pitched three scoreless innings for his first career win. Thankfully, the game didn't go any further because Maddux was warming up to come in.

Sammy went 1-2 with a single and a walk in a rehab assignment yesterday. He should be back on Friday.

Friday, June 11, 2004


Well, they managed a split with a blowout win on Thursday.

Why leave Zambrano in for 121 pitches with a 10 run lead? Because 7 pitchers threw the day before? None of them went more than an inning and a third. Oh well.

You may have heard the fine Cubs broadcaster Chip Caray refer to "two out magic" once or twice in the last few weeks. I didn't see yesterday's 10 run inning with two out, but I can imagine Chippy nearly hyperventalated himself to death saying it. Let's look at this fallacy, shall we?

Chip is a Moron
Team Total Runs 2 Out Runs % 2 Out Runs
NYM 244 113 46.3
COL 310 130 41.9
PHI 291 117 40.2
ATL 274 110 40.1
FLA 268 107 39.9
MIL 255 100 39.2
ARZ 274 107 39.1
HOU 286 110 38.5
MON 180 68 37.8
CUBS 285 106 37.2
PIT 250 91 36.4
LA 246 86 35.0
SD 264 83 31.4
STL 305 95 31.1
CIN 280 83 29.6
SF 280 81 28.9

I don't know why Chip keeps ranting about this, but let's hope someone will publish some media notes that he'll actually read.

I don't know why there is this massive gap between the table and the text above it. I am an idiot when it comes to HTML. Can someone shed some light on this?

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Dear Jackass, 

Please stop sending baserunners to their certain doom.



Well, it wasn't all Wavin Wendell's fault. Another game, another opposing pitcher without a walk and a sub 100 pitch outing. Another game, another embarassing Korey Paterson at-bat. It would really be a bad idea to lose 3 of 4 to the Cards without Pujols in the lineup. So, let's win today, shall we?

Let's recap the 2004 draft!

Well, on second thought, let's not and why don't you just click this link to find out who the Cubs drafted.

Monday, June 07, 2004

The Answer... 


Sweaty Joe is on the DL and may be there for a long time. Thanks for 2003 Joe, but I don't have any sympathy for you if you were covering up an injury. This isn't typical Cubs team where they were just trying to get to .500 to consider the season a success.

Jon Leicester has been called up from AAA to pitch once every two weeks before he gets sent back down.

The Cubs managed to actually win 2 out of 3 (should have been a sweep, if not for the aforementioned Jo Bo) from the Battlin' Buccos over the weekend.

Mark Prior looked like Mark Prior on Friday. I saw innings 2-5 of his start and he looked just as good as last year.

Can we trade Derrek Lee for Jim Thome?

Albert Pujols pulled his hammy yesterday against the Astros and probably will not play at all in the 4 game series against the Cubs which starts tonight. That's a shame.

Glendon Rusch goes for the Cubs tonight. I'm not very confident he'll have a repeat of his Saturday start a couple of weeks ago, but having Pujols out sure helps.

Oh, and the Cubs might want to start hitting today: 4 games against STL, 3 games at Anaheim, 4 at Houston, 3 against Oakland, 3 at St. Louis, 3 at the White Sox, 3 against Houston and finally, 3 more at home against the White Sox. That's 26 games against some really tough competition.

Dear Dusty,

If you haven't figured it out yet, the lineup that gives you the best chance to win is the following:

1) Walker
2) Barrett
3) Alou
4) Hollandsworth
5) Ramirez
6) Lee
7) Patterson (He should never, ever, bat higher than 7th. He should definitely never hit 3rd.)
8) Whatever scrub plays shortstop

Of course, when you insist on starting Bako every 5th day, you can throw this out the window and just do whatever you want. Also, please stop pinch hitting for Hollandsworth with Jose Macias. Todd is hitting .455 against lefties this year (5-11). I realize that's out of the norm for him, but let's wait until he gets below .400 before we start substituting for him, okay? The manager in the other dugout is laughing at you, not with you. Thanks!

Beat the Cardinals!

Found this and posted it on Desipio.com. What the hell is going on in this picture?

Friday, June 04, 2004

I Don't Like Rob Mackowiak 

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Statistical Randomness 

When the Cubs allow 3 runs or less, they are 22-5

When the Cubs allow 4 runs or more, they are 5-19

In 52 games, the Cubs have thrown fewer pitches than their opponent 18 times. They are 12-6 in those games.

In 52 games, the Cubs have thrown more pitches than their opponent 34 times. They are 15-19 in those games.

The Cubs hitting is:

23rd in walks (160)
21st in OBP (.329)
2nd in homers (72)

They have hit 15 homers on the first pitch (tied with BOS & STL) and second only to their next opponent Pittsburgh who has 20.

The Cubs pitching is:

9th in ERA (3.90)
2nd in K's (416), Houston is first with 439
20th in walks (184)
2nd in batting average against (.244), Houston 1st (.240)

Say goodbye to the Meat-Tray and Mike Worst! They've been banished to AAA to make room for Prior and Mercker.

KKKorey Paterson doesn't care if you boo him.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

The Key to Beating the Cubs... 

...besides Dusty using the lineup
1) Macias
2) Ordonez
3) Patterson

Or any game where Mike Wuertz pitches

Friday, Game 1:

Ramon E. Martinez: Strike looking, Martinez singled to center
Todd Walker hit for Kyle Farnsworth.
Todd Walker: Strike swinging, Intentional ball, Walker singled to right, Martinez to third.
Jose Macias: Macias singled to left center, Martinez scored, Walker to second.
Michael Barrett: Foul, Ball, Ball, Ball, Barrett walked, Walker to third, Macias to second.
Aramis Ramirez: Ball, Ramirez lined out to second.
Derrek Lee: Strike swinging, Ball, Ball, Strike swinging, Ball, Lee grounded into double play shortstop to second to first, Barrett out at second.

End of Inning (1 Run, 3 Hits, 0 Errors)

Game 2:

Matt Clement: Ball, Strike looking, Ball, Ball, Clement walked.
Todd Walker: Strike looking, Ball, Walker singled to right, Clement to second.
Rey Ordonez: Ball, Ball, Strike looking, Ordonez reached on fielder's choice to pitcher, Clement to third, Walker to second.
Moises Alou: Strike looking, Alou grounded into double play pitcher to catcher to first, Clement out at home, Walker to third, Ordonez to second.
Aramis Ramirez: Ramirez grounded out to second.

End of Inning (0 Runs, 1 Hit, 0 Errors)


Brandon Duckworth pitching:
Moises Alou: Alou homered to center.
Aramis Ramirez: Ramirez safe at first on 3rd baseman Ensberg's throwing error, Ramirez to second.
Todd Hollandsworth: Strike looking, Ball, Ball, Ball, Hollandsworth walked.
Derrek Lee: Ball, Ball, Lee reached on an infield single, Ramirez to third, Hollandsworth to second.
Mike D. Gallo relieved Brandon Duckworth.
Corey Patterson: Strike swinging, Strike swinging, Foul, Patterson struck out swinging.
Ramon E. Martinez: Ball, Foul, Foul, Foul, Foul, Martinez grounded into double play pitcher to catcher to catcher to first, Ramirez out at home.

End of Inning (1 Run, 2 Hits, 1 Error)

Brandon Backe pitching:
Moises Alou: Ball, Ball, Ball, Foul, Alou walked.
Aramis Ramirez: Ball, Ball, Ramirez singled to center, Alou to second.
Todd Hollandsworth: Ball, Strike swinging, Ball, Ball, Hollandsworth walked, Alou to third, Ramirez to second.
Danny Miceli relieved Brandon Backe.
Derrek Lee: Strike looking, Strike looking, Ball, Lee flied out to right.
Corey Patterson: Foul, Ball, Ball, Strike swinging, Foul, Foul, Patterson struck out swinging. (Joe's note: Corey's sequence in both innings was shocking! )
Ramon E. Martinez: Ball, Strike looking, Strike swinging, Martinez struck out looking.

End of Inning (0 Runs, 1 Hit, 0 Errors)

So, the lesson for all those teams out there is get the Cubs to load the bases with nobody out and if Lee, Patterson and Martinez are the next three hitters, you're home free!

Although to be fair, the Cubs are batting .309 with the bases loaded (10th in MLB). So, I guess it's all just an illusion, right?

Here's some other fascinating stats for that Chip refers to often or that you may wonder about:

The Cubs pinch hitters! (hitting .270, 7th in MLB)

Swinging at the first pitch!(.348, 13th in MLB)

The Cubs #2 hitters! (.239, 26th in MLB)

Against Rocket Roger: (Or, what today's lineup should be:)
Walker .393 (11-28)
Barrett .333 (1-3)
Alou .000 (0-2)
Ramirez .000 (no at-bats)
Hollandsworth .000 (0-4)
Lee .667 (2-3)
Patterson .000 (0-3)
Ordonez .438 (7-16) Good god! Ordonez has a better average against Clemens than he does against any other active pitcher (minimum 10 at-bats, although I think it could be a minimum of 5 or 6 at-bats, but I didn't feel like cycling through all of this again. Simply put, Rey Ordonez owns Roger Clemens.)

Macias .214 (3-14, HR), is the only guy not on the DL for the Cubs to homer off Roger. Sosa has 1 (his first of his 549 career homers) and Alex Gonzalez (!) has 3.

Reference that has an alternate sexual meaning of the day from the Trib:

Sammy Sosa took 25 "dry swings" with a bat in his first baseball-related activity since injuring his back. He received physical therapy downtown and was not at Wrigley Field on Tuesday. "He's getting his swinging in at home, I guess," manager Dusty Baker said.

Does Sammy's wife know about that? (Cue Saxophone music)

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Bako Strikes Back 

mir·a·cle ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mr-kl)

An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God: see Paul Bako, 5/31/04.

"3-3 with a double". Seems innocent doesn't it? Hell, you can see a similar line for some player almost every day of the Major League Baseball season.

But when 3-3 with a double follows this guy's name: , you know there's something cosmic at work here.

It could have been "3-3 with 2 doubles", but Bako was unable to take advantage of his deal with Satan when he was gunned out at second by Richard Hidalgo trying to stretch a single into a double.

Anyway, the Cubs won again, 3-1. That's 2 in a row. Moises hit a two run homer that made up the difference and Sweaty Joe entered the ninth and luckily allowed only 2 hits and a long flyout to Adam Everett to end the game.

Glendon Rusch pitches on 3 days rest today. Probably not smart, but who knows.

The Cubs traded the decaying corpse of Damian Jackson (thanks for that one hit you had as a Cub) to the Royals for Gookie Dawkins (that's right, Gookie Dawkins) and a PTBNL. Gookie was tearing it up at AAA, hitting .223 with 41 strikeouts in 166 at-bats. Gookie was once thought to be the heir apparent to Barry Larkin at short for the Reds. What happened? Well, Barry is still "playing" short and Gookie is still named Gookie. In short, (and at short), he sucks. Unless the PTBNL is Carlos Beltran, we can all just thankfully remember this trade as the reason we never have to see the following in the lineup ever again:

1) Macias RF
2) Jackson 2B

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